Dube

One of the things I love best about my boyfriend is that his last name, Dube, means zebra in zulu. Seriously, how cool is that?

So... you can imagine how excited I was to catch Dube with some dubes (not sure if that's how you pluralize in zulu) outside my cottage.

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year...

... and happy 35th birthday to me!

I miss you!

Hope y'all had a great holiday season... and as you cuddle up with a loved one on the couch, sipping some apple cider... watching football... maybe thinking of me... I just want to let you know I am sweating my ASS off. There's no a/c at work, in my cottage, or in my car and this is AFRICA, people. The only relief I get is when buying yogurt at the grocery store.

Overall, the holidays were tolerable. I worked on Thanskgiving, so really that's all I have to say about that. While y'all were busy gaining 5 pounds in one day... I was... sweating. But let's not talk about Thanksgiving.

Christmas almost got off to a bad start... My neck started to act up again the day before we were supposed to drive to South Africa. But thank gawd for my boyfriend and his African hands... and he was able to massage me back to health. (Don't tell him, but he may have given me a few unecessary massages.) We drove to Witbank, South Africa to visit his family. He has 10 siblings, and most of them live in Witbank and we stayed with his brother Robin. On the first night, I hung out with a few of the ladies including his niece (who is in her late 20s) and his older sister. It was a fun night of watching Beyonce and R. Kelly videos. Unfortunately, I'm not kidding.

One thing I should mention is that South Africa and Swaziland are a little behind the times and when it comes to having fun, that usually means the men hanging with the men and the women hanging with the women... so sometimes I don't see my boyfirend that much during these family outings... AND I wish I had a rand for every time one of the ladies invited me to their home to cook all day before a family gathering. (I have yet to accept an offer... I'm American, dammit!)

The next day was Christmas and we went to the Witbank Dam and had a braai (i.e. barbeque) and just chilled all day. It was fun hanging with zee fam, but did not feel like Christmas at all. It was hot and the adjacent car was playing really loud African music. And people were dancing. Sadly, no christmas tree or stocking for this ex-pat. But in exciting news, I have a boyfriend who LOVES Christmas music, so yeah for me! Specifically we listened to "Mary's Boy Child" and "Little Drummer Boy" over and over and over and over and over again throughout December. And he always made me join David Bowie and Bing Crosby in song... Come they told me...

We also ate a lot of beans and rice because that's what they do here.

Next it was New Years, which was celebrated back in Swaziland. Here in Ezulwini, the bars are pretty happening on Friday and Saturday nights so I made the executive decision to stay local. Bad mistake. It was like a ghost town. Coincidentally, we ran into his brother and wife and we decided to make the trek to the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE where apparently there was an all night party. We got to the tent literally at 8... 7... 6... it was pretty stressful. Sadly, no champagne for me this year, but I got to watch a lot of Africans getting their groove on. I did not join them, because I'm still not ready to look like a fool.

Then there was New Years Day... totally anti-climatic. No football games and no saurkraut.

And I guess that brings us to today. I'm pretending to work... but I'm actually just sitting here sweating wondering why in hell I ever decided to work in Africa. I jest, but did I mention it's hot? So blog readers, let's keep in touch... in my next entry I will tell you the exciting news about how I am probably coming home in March FOR GOOD because I engaged in some behaviour that will forever alter my life. Are you on the edge of your seat?

Oh, crap... I have a blog?

Dear Blog Readers,

I've been bad, I know...

August and September were crazy travel months and I'm still catching up to life... In two months, I spent a week in Cape Town, a week in Kruger Park, a week in Mozambique and then a week in Botswana. Eish!

Kruger Park was FANTASTIC... and FREE! We have a monthly tour of the park with our volunteers, and my boss was nice enough to let me join. I spent five days and four nights (in a tent, mind you) with our friendly tour guide, Bob, and four of our volunteers. Five days driving around the park, listening to innapropriate songs ("Girl I'm gonna make you sweat") and we were lucky to see the Big Five. Elephants, buffalo, Rhino, Lion, and Leopard, oh my! It was definitely a week to remember...
During this time, I also secured an African boyfriend. It was actually quite easy... I was sitting at my desk at work early August and he walked in and asked me out... I didn't even have to move! We went out that Saturday night, and the rest is history. We've been dating for three months now and he's adorable (and he used to play professional soccer in Swaziland and has the cutest arse, as they say here). His parents are South African, but he was born and raised in Swaziland, and is the youngest of 12 kids and speaks Zulu. The best part about all this is that we actual met early April at a lunch we held for our project partners, but I was still so new in the position and I don't remember meeting him... but, alas...

Dating a Swazi has really opened me up to a part of Swaziland I would never have seen... on the weekends, we go to all the local bars, and since I'm always the only white person, there's a lot of staring. His friends speak to me in siswati, and then they all laugh at me. I refuse to dance, because if you saw how Swazis move you would understand why I would not open myself up to that form of humiliation. My BF tells me on what seems like a daily basis that white people can't dance. or jump.

I met his family at some sort of wedding ceremony thing... not the wedding, but when the grooms family gives the brides family all these gifts. And when I say family, I swear there were like hundreds of them. It was very romantic evening, and he helped me pee behind one of the buildings behind the homestead, because people, this is Swaziland!!! I also went back to the same homestead the night before the funeral... the singing was INCREDIBLE. They like to sing here. And have big families.

Just because I like to keep it real, I also had a run-in with the law. After I came back from Botswana we went out and had a few drinks and then it came time to drive home... I was mostly sober, and it's literally like a mile to my driveway, and I was pulled over and forced to take a breathalizer test! There is zero tolerance in Swaziland, and I would have been thrown in the slammer if it wasn't for my boyfriend's sweet talking.

Let's see... what else? Oh, right... one day I thought my cottage burned down in a bush fire. Turns out it was an organized "fire break" by the game reserve, but it was pretty damn close, people! And because this is Africa, no one thought to say "Hey Sarah! It's going to look like your cottage is on fire, but no worries!" But anyhow... these "organized" fires last all "winter" during the dry season...
"Winter" in Swaziland lasts from about June through August and then it pretty much turns into summer... technically its still considered "springtime" in Swaziland, but it's no joke... and I'm killing more flies than Mr. Miagi. Last Sunday was about 100, and there's no a/c, and I think I almost died. I have a hunch that I'm going to be very, very hot in the next few months. Karma's a bitch, and I apologize for laughing at all your Facebook status updates this past July. And don't get me started on the beetles here... I swear to you they are as big as pigeons. Ok, maybe not quite as big... but you get the point.

Things have settled down and I promise to keep in touch!!

Hugs and Kisses :)

Swazi Life #1

Swaziland continues to give me the giggles.

Last night I went to bed knowing full well that I would be up at 6 AM to the sound of squealing pigs. It's feeding time, and they don't hold back. (Thankfully, I'm getting used to the roosters... and by my latest calculation there are three of those fuckers.)

I was doing my thing in the morning... making breakfast... showering... and every once in a while I would jump at what sounded like the sound of a boulder landing on my tin roof. It was either one of two possibilities: either a monkey or an avocado falling from the tree due to said monkey.

Around 9:30 I hear a new sound: My boss, his wife and his two kids. (In Swaziland there is absolutely no privacy.)

I go out and say my hellos and we all talk about how rambunctious the monkeys are. The mom-in-law then continues to tell me... and I'm pretty sure she was absolutely serious... that I should start wearing a helmet as I walk from my cottage to the car because [and I quote] if an avocado hits me on the head it will knock me out.

What do you say to that?

Home Sweet Home

I'm a lazy blogger... like, totes magotes lazy. I've been meaning to introduce y'all to my new home for a while now, and since I’ve been there since early May I’d say it’s time. There’s so much more I need to tell you about the fabulous Kingdom of Swaziland, but cannot until you know more about my new residence.

I started this here entry about a month ago when something really excited happened and I couldn’t wait to tell you all about it. I went home for lunch one day whilst working, sat outside and finished my sandwich, then read some of "The Help" (Sharon!) when all of a sudden I spotted movement out of the corner of my eye. Up until this point, that would usually mean one of the stinky pigs wanted to check out my sandwich... but not on this day folks... it was an ostrich. An ostrich walked by me as I was enjoying a lazy lunch break in the sun. And I didn't even know Swaziland had them. An ostrich!

Here’s some photographic evidence if you don’t believe me...

So hang on to your seat, because this is the post where I tell y'all about my new home!

Not sure how to describe it... but it's part farm, part game reserve and there are animals ALL OVER THE PLACE (which means there’s lots of poop, people). My home is specifically a cottage on a piece of land with horse stables, my boss's mother-in-law, and all the folks that work the property, while surrounding the farm is a game reserve started at one point in time by the family. The property is gated and there are guards that let me in & out which makes feel all Out of Africa... totally not going to lie about that.

The mother-in-law lives in the main house about 10 feet from my cottage... my side door looks directly into her kitchen and as soon as I get my act together, new curtains are in order. Depending on where you are standing, my side door also looks directly into a pig pen.... totally not exaggerating at all. The pig pen is home to some mamas and some papas, grandma and grandpa, and some piglets. Next to the pig pen is a chicken coop with a shit ton of chickens and at least two roosters that wake me up around 3 AM every morning. On the other side of the cottage is where the workers live. And to be honest, I’m not entirely sure who lives there because it’s seems to be a hot spot in Swaziland (which is another reason why I need new curtains).

Oh, I have a maid.

Yes, a maid.

And y'all thought I was gonna be roughing it in Africa. Joke's on YOU! She makes my bed, does my dishes, washes and irons my clothes, and cleans my dirtiness. It makes me feel sorta funny, but don't worry... I'm learning to cope. (Jen & Kathy... if you are reading this blog... thanks for teaching me how to wash my clothes by hand in India... but it was totally unnecessary!)

And let me tell you about all the critters...

There are pigs and chickens... sometimes I find goats outside my doors, and of course tons of horses AND AN OSTRICH... and then because we are on the edge of a game reserve, there is also a ton of impala, blesbok, zebras, monkeys, and the cutest warthogs that you have ever seen. Within a ten minute walk into the game reserve, there is also kudu and wildebeast, but I have yet to find them roaming the property. And then a longer walk into the game reserve you will find crocodiles and hippos!! Out of Africa!

Believe it or not, out of all my furry friends roaming the property, the pigs are by far my favourite... and I had to move to Africa to figure this out. I wasn’t really bonding to them in the beginning, but then I went to Botswana in May for a week... came back... and there were ten piglets and I was hooked. I would spend an hour a day just staring at them, and consequently I started bonding with grandpa, the two mamas, and their ginormous udders. It’s not far from the truth to say that these pigs were my first friends in Africa. (Although, I’m a little ticked off because grandpa bit me in the arm yesterday as I giving his ears a little massage...)

My other friend is my boss’s 7-year old niece who occasionally spends the weekend with grandma. She’s an assertive little lady who frequently walks into my cottage unannounced and I have started calling her “boss”. The other day she walked in, covered in dirt and still wearing her riding boots, and demanded I changed the channel to Disney... I told her there was no way her dirty bottom was sitting on my bed and that she immediately must take off her riding boots... she then told me I was sooooo “town” and that she has no problems picking up poop with her bare hands. (I gave the remote a good disinfecting after she left...)

And the helper guys... *sigh*... Africa is making me so horny. I have a new crush every day, and one guy looks just like Omar Epps. To be continued...

But, of course this is Africa... the other day I was making cupcakes for the office and the electricity went out. With the help of one of the guys that lives next door, we were able to restore it... but then the water went out after my hands were completely covered in chocolate frosting. That was a tricky situation. AND... a week ago I came back from St. Lucia and there was an ant infestation in my bathroom. Thankfully the helper guys came to the rescue but when I told mom-in-law her response was that they were probably thirsty. I am learning to be patient. (On a good note, I finally got my cable installed and on the first night there was a Law & Order: SVU marathon on!)

So, despite the ants, I'm loving it here... the property is surrounded by beautiful mountains and it's like a little piece of heaven in southern Africa. I spend my time walking the property, feeding apples to the piggies, having dirty thoughts of Swazi Omar Epps, and trying to avoid all the poop along the way. And this might sound cliche, but as I type this entry I'm sitting outside my cottage... listening to the sounds of nature, scanning the night sky for the southern cross, and rocking out to Paul Simon's "Under African Skies". Seriously, folks... how African am I? (Or how American am I trying to be totally African?) (But still more AFRICAN than YOU so THERE!)

Come visit me :)

Oh, and say hi to Ben... he’s our Canadian IT guy who swears he’s like a Hardy boy and can find my blog. Other than the pigs, and my boss’s niece... he’s my only friend in Swaziland.

Botswana, South Africa & two warthogs doing the nasty

Another day, another blog entry...

I returned yesterday from a long week in Maun, Botswana followed by a quick retreat in Nelspruit, South Africa... Botswana was work-related and Nelspruit was a much needed dip in Lake Me. I have officially been in my position for two months and have now visited all the countries we support... so I suppose I can either quit or be fired knowing that I saw what I came to see... but hopefully that won't happen.

Botswana was... well... um... interesting. It was about a two hour flight from Johannesburg and looking out the window I'm pretty sure not one person lives between Joburg and Maun. How would I describe Maun? Lots of sand... lots of little bushes... tons of goats and donkees... and not much else. Sadly, there was some sort of cow disease at some point in the 90s and they all had to be slaughtered. They are now back in Botswana, but now there are a lot of donkeys too. AND there are hippos and crocs, but even more sadly I saw none.

Did I mention I slept in a tent for four nights?

Yup, that's right... Boston Sarah has had to do some majuh readjusting to life in Africa. Expectations have had to be altered (not lowered) and hand sanitizer purchased. I did not wash my hands once (ok, actually just once...) while I was in Maun because the water in the toilet was yellow and I figured it was probably also yellow coming out of the faucet too. I stayed at a camp ground and had two cots and a tent all to myself! It wasn't really roughing it, per se, but it was a tent... the safari kind, but without the safari. And when I arrived there was a cow just hanging out, plus several really large spiders in the bathroom stalls. And I am keeping my fingers crossed that I did not contract malaria... should find out in two weeks when I either get really sick or I don't.

(On a positive note... I have now been out of the country for two and a half months without any tummy troubles!)

I spent two days traveling, and three days visiting our projects. But enough about work...

While in Maun, I had a little bit of an opportunity to do some fun. Nearby there is the Okavango Delta, Chobe Game Reserve, and I think about 8 hours away is Vic Falls (one of the natural wonders, my friends). I did not get to see any of these sites, but I was able to go on a two hour boat road down the river to the entrance of the Delta. Basically there were people in Maun having fun, and we were able to talk the boat driver into letting me go with him to pick up the fun-havers at their camp sites along the river... which is where the hippos and crocs hang out that I did NOT see. But alas, the river is beautiful... tons of exotics birds (if you're into that sort of thing), African lilly pads, those white and pink flowers that just float on the river, and just overall niceness. My plan is to stay a little bit longer the next time and see both the Delta, perhaps Chobe, and definitely Vic Falls. The neat thing about Botswana is that they don't have fences around their reserves, so it's just you and the predators hanging out together under the African sky.

(and as I write this blog, my tin roof just made the loudest noise... that musta been one hell of an avocado... I'd go explore, but this is Africa and all the single ladies should not be exploring outside by themselves after dark).

So, then I flew back to Joburg via Gabarone, and made my way across the N4 to Nelspruit for a nice weekend with no volunteers, work colleagues, or backpackers. In Nelspruit I was able to FINALLY visit some proper malls... (see, I'm already talking like a South African, hey?) which is ironic, because back home shopping and me did not get a long so much... I ordered everything off of amazon because I seriously could not be bothered. Here, it's like heaven... a fresh breath of civilization compared to my new home in Swaziland. And shopping I did... ALL weekend long... not only because it was fun, but because I have a new home to shop for and not too many options nearby.

OMG, and the beef jerky... on the plane ride back to SA, my new Afrikaner friend made me try some... although it had some Dutchy name so I can only assume that's what I was eating based on appearance... and I am so hooked... and they had it all over Nelspruit at the malls. Slim Jim has nothing on these beautiful pieces of dried up South African pieces of meat (I can feel my blood pressure rise as I type this blog).

It was a great weekend to myself in Nelspruit, staying both nights at an adorable little guest house, and on Sunday I made my way back home. I looked at a map, and decided on the quickest route... which turned out to be the longer route through winding roads and mountains and a town with not much there called Piggs Peak. Although that was not the most economic return home, the cool part is that I got to drive past Kruger National Park and went to to the gates to see how much it would cost me to take a little drive... 180 Rand... so that will be a trip for another day.


Speaking of pigs... this morning I went to my car and there was a whole bunch of them just hanging out... protecting my car from strangers.

I may have previously mentioned this, but just as a reminder I totally live on a farm. Not only that, but while I was gone two of the momma pigs had a whole mess of piglets... I'd guess around 7-8... which puts the total pig count to about 15-20 RIGHT OUTSIDE MY DOOR. The chickens are having babies, the goats are having babies, the horses are having babies, I drove past two wart hogs going at it yesterday, and I am here all by myself blogging (When I was young, I never needed anyone...)

So, here we are... today was a successful day back at work and I went to yoga for the first time tonight... and I don't want to get y'all too excited... but... [wait for it]... I may have made some new friends. A bunch of bloody Americans... can you believe it? AND one from Westborough of all places. Oh, Route 9... how I have missed you.

Anyhow, on that note... I think it's time for bed... I will be up at 3 AM with the roosters.

So long, Tent #8 !!

What a week!

On Tuesday I said my goodbyes to Tent #8 and was on my way to Cottage #1. Seven weeks later, and I am FINALLY moving out.

When I was interviewing for the position, Christy said not to worry about finding a new home... she had been in Swaziland for a mere 4 nights when she made her transition from the Lodge to her permanent home... she had been shown a variety of housing options within her first few days and quickly decided on one. Piece of cake, I thought. And besides... I had no problems staying at the Lodge for the interim because with my own private ensuite bedroom, could it really be that bad?

Well, I was pretty much wrong. Apparently Ezulwini is experiencing a real estate boom, because when I rolled into town, they were fresh out of housing options. Not only that, but on my first night ever in AFRICA, as their new MANAGER, I was placed in a dorm room, with no bathroom, three bunk beds, and a mess of roommates. Some of my roommates went to bed early, some slept in late, and I was forced to sift through two years of my life in the dark. I was not happy... to say the least. And p.s., have you ever stayed at a hostel before? The showers and bathrooms are less than desirable. I think this was the first of many what-the-hell-were-you-thinking-when-you-decided-to-apply-for-a-job-in-Swaziland moments.

About a week later, things were looking a little brighter... Christy showed me her home, Cottage #1, and I decided to move in after she vacated... WEEKS later. I also discovered the joys of tent living and made my way to Tent #8 for night number two. Still no private bathroom, but at least I now had natural light and no risk of hitting my head on the bunk above me... and up to three roommates rather than five. I had to make a few room shifts that first week, and a trip to Mozambique, but was able to secure my corner of Tent #8 for the remaining five weeks.

I have since had a love/hate relationship with the Lodge and Tent #8. Let me catch you up on what it's been like.

So here is a picture of the Lodge and Tent #8. Not too much to mention here... but notice that I am reading Power of One? How cliche am I? This front porch is the main hang out area. Sometimes they make me go and get my DVDS which are then projected onto a big screen for movie nights. I have not yet been able to convince any volunteers to watch Brown Sugar or Love & Basketball, but you will be happy to know they LOVED "Just Friends"... speaking of which, I found my lost copy in one of the bags I brought with me... which has since gone through the wash... so if you want my somewhat scratched, but very clean, extra copy... let me know!! (I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky...)

On the same porch, we also have dinners together every night... cooked and cleaned by the volunteers... and usually consist of either chicken or beef, green and red peppers, and rice. Thankfully, I have not been placed on the cooking roster.


One of my favorite things about the lodge is the wildlife. Some days you'll be lying there [reading Power of One] and all of a sudden you'll hear some banging noises on the tin roof [rust!] and the monkeys are playing. One morning Susie hushed me and I turned to look and a little cheeky monkey was sitting on our tent porch! And if it's not the monkeys goofing around, it's Spotty... my boss's dog. As my brother would say... he's pretty much a yipping fuzz ball, but without a whole lotta fuzz. He likes to bark, and is perhaps the most loved critter on the face of the earth. He roams the property looking for cuddles from the seemingly endless supply of staff member and volunteers. And he also likes to jump on my white capris and leave little dirty paw prints... never fails. And as annoying as she is, I am so in love with the little turd... sometimes she would join us in Tent #8 and would amazingly spend the entire evening underneath our blankets.

And as I sit in Cottage #1... which is in the middle of NOWHERE... completely surrounded by nature... one thing I am definitely going to miss is the social life because basically I have no friends yet... but a few times a week I can talk the volunteers into letting me socialize with them. Not that there's an abundance of opportunity in Swaziland, but we've have some nice dinners out on the town. Here's a picture of my first group of volunteers and a Saturday night outing to Spur at Sheba's Breast. I would like to point at the fourth guy from the left... that's Max, and he is my favorite volunteer so far. WICKED !!
So, let's end on a high note... I won't tell you how many times the bathroom was out of toilet paper, or soap, or there was some major funk on the toilet seat... or how the showers gave you an electric shock when you turned the knob or how the water was freezing cold because it had been raining for a few days and the solar energy failed to heat the water... or how the Khumbis stopped running at 7PM and I was essentially stuck at the lodge without any access to ice cream... or how my clothes would take days to dry on the line and I had to wear wet undies to work... and how it felt like I was at work 24/7 for seven entire weeks. Although I love my new cottage (and the rooster who wakes me up at 3 AM in the morning), part of me is gonna miss that Tent #8.