Oh, crap... I have a blog?

Dear Blog Readers,

I've been bad, I know...

August and September were crazy travel months and I'm still catching up to life... In two months, I spent a week in Cape Town, a week in Kruger Park, a week in Mozambique and then a week in Botswana. Eish!

Kruger Park was FANTASTIC... and FREE! We have a monthly tour of the park with our volunteers, and my boss was nice enough to let me join. I spent five days and four nights (in a tent, mind you) with our friendly tour guide, Bob, and four of our volunteers. Five days driving around the park, listening to innapropriate songs ("Girl I'm gonna make you sweat") and we were lucky to see the Big Five. Elephants, buffalo, Rhino, Lion, and Leopard, oh my! It was definitely a week to remember...
During this time, I also secured an African boyfriend. It was actually quite easy... I was sitting at my desk at work early August and he walked in and asked me out... I didn't even have to move! We went out that Saturday night, and the rest is history. We've been dating for three months now and he's adorable (and he used to play professional soccer in Swaziland and has the cutest arse, as they say here). His parents are South African, but he was born and raised in Swaziland, and is the youngest of 12 kids and speaks Zulu. The best part about all this is that we actual met early April at a lunch we held for our project partners, but I was still so new in the position and I don't remember meeting him... but, alas...

Dating a Swazi has really opened me up to a part of Swaziland I would never have seen... on the weekends, we go to all the local bars, and since I'm always the only white person, there's a lot of staring. His friends speak to me in siswati, and then they all laugh at me. I refuse to dance, because if you saw how Swazis move you would understand why I would not open myself up to that form of humiliation. My BF tells me on what seems like a daily basis that white people can't dance. or jump.

I met his family at some sort of wedding ceremony thing... not the wedding, but when the grooms family gives the brides family all these gifts. And when I say family, I swear there were like hundreds of them. It was very romantic evening, and he helped me pee behind one of the buildings behind the homestead, because people, this is Swaziland!!! I also went back to the same homestead the night before the funeral... the singing was INCREDIBLE. They like to sing here. And have big families.

Just because I like to keep it real, I also had a run-in with the law. After I came back from Botswana we went out and had a few drinks and then it came time to drive home... I was mostly sober, and it's literally like a mile to my driveway, and I was pulled over and forced to take a breathalizer test! There is zero tolerance in Swaziland, and I would have been thrown in the slammer if it wasn't for my boyfriend's sweet talking.

Let's see... what else? Oh, right... one day I thought my cottage burned down in a bush fire. Turns out it was an organized "fire break" by the game reserve, but it was pretty damn close, people! And because this is Africa, no one thought to say "Hey Sarah! It's going to look like your cottage is on fire, but no worries!" But anyhow... these "organized" fires last all "winter" during the dry season...
"Winter" in Swaziland lasts from about June through August and then it pretty much turns into summer... technically its still considered "springtime" in Swaziland, but it's no joke... and I'm killing more flies than Mr. Miagi. Last Sunday was about 100, and there's no a/c, and I think I almost died. I have a hunch that I'm going to be very, very hot in the next few months. Karma's a bitch, and I apologize for laughing at all your Facebook status updates this past July. And don't get me started on the beetles here... I swear to you they are as big as pigeons. Ok, maybe not quite as big... but you get the point.

Things have settled down and I promise to keep in touch!!

Hugs and Kisses :)

Swazi Life #1

Swaziland continues to give me the giggles.

Last night I went to bed knowing full well that I would be up at 6 AM to the sound of squealing pigs. It's feeding time, and they don't hold back. (Thankfully, I'm getting used to the roosters... and by my latest calculation there are three of those fuckers.)

I was doing my thing in the morning... making breakfast... showering... and every once in a while I would jump at what sounded like the sound of a boulder landing on my tin roof. It was either one of two possibilities: either a monkey or an avocado falling from the tree due to said monkey.

Around 9:30 I hear a new sound: My boss, his wife and his two kids. (In Swaziland there is absolutely no privacy.)

I go out and say my hellos and we all talk about how rambunctious the monkeys are. The mom-in-law then continues to tell me... and I'm pretty sure she was absolutely serious... that I should start wearing a helmet as I walk from my cottage to the car because [and I quote] if an avocado hits me on the head it will knock me out.

What do you say to that?

Home Sweet Home

I'm a lazy blogger... like, totes magotes lazy. I've been meaning to introduce y'all to my new home for a while now, and since I’ve been there since early May I’d say it’s time. There’s so much more I need to tell you about the fabulous Kingdom of Swaziland, but cannot until you know more about my new residence.

I started this here entry about a month ago when something really excited happened and I couldn’t wait to tell you all about it. I went home for lunch one day whilst working, sat outside and finished my sandwich, then read some of "The Help" (Sharon!) when all of a sudden I spotted movement out of the corner of my eye. Up until this point, that would usually mean one of the stinky pigs wanted to check out my sandwich... but not on this day folks... it was an ostrich. An ostrich walked by me as I was enjoying a lazy lunch break in the sun. And I didn't even know Swaziland had them. An ostrich!

Here’s some photographic evidence if you don’t believe me...

So hang on to your seat, because this is the post where I tell y'all about my new home!

Not sure how to describe it... but it's part farm, part game reserve and there are animals ALL OVER THE PLACE (which means there’s lots of poop, people). My home is specifically a cottage on a piece of land with horse stables, my boss's mother-in-law, and all the folks that work the property, while surrounding the farm is a game reserve started at one point in time by the family. The property is gated and there are guards that let me in & out which makes feel all Out of Africa... totally not going to lie about that.

The mother-in-law lives in the main house about 10 feet from my cottage... my side door looks directly into her kitchen and as soon as I get my act together, new curtains are in order. Depending on where you are standing, my side door also looks directly into a pig pen.... totally not exaggerating at all. The pig pen is home to some mamas and some papas, grandma and grandpa, and some piglets. Next to the pig pen is a chicken coop with a shit ton of chickens and at least two roosters that wake me up around 3 AM every morning. On the other side of the cottage is where the workers live. And to be honest, I’m not entirely sure who lives there because it’s seems to be a hot spot in Swaziland (which is another reason why I need new curtains).

Oh, I have a maid.

Yes, a maid.

And y'all thought I was gonna be roughing it in Africa. Joke's on YOU! She makes my bed, does my dishes, washes and irons my clothes, and cleans my dirtiness. It makes me feel sorta funny, but don't worry... I'm learning to cope. (Jen & Kathy... if you are reading this blog... thanks for teaching me how to wash my clothes by hand in India... but it was totally unnecessary!)

And let me tell you about all the critters...

There are pigs and chickens... sometimes I find goats outside my doors, and of course tons of horses AND AN OSTRICH... and then because we are on the edge of a game reserve, there is also a ton of impala, blesbok, zebras, monkeys, and the cutest warthogs that you have ever seen. Within a ten minute walk into the game reserve, there is also kudu and wildebeast, but I have yet to find them roaming the property. And then a longer walk into the game reserve you will find crocodiles and hippos!! Out of Africa!

Believe it or not, out of all my furry friends roaming the property, the pigs are by far my favourite... and I had to move to Africa to figure this out. I wasn’t really bonding to them in the beginning, but then I went to Botswana in May for a week... came back... and there were ten piglets and I was hooked. I would spend an hour a day just staring at them, and consequently I started bonding with grandpa, the two mamas, and their ginormous udders. It’s not far from the truth to say that these pigs were my first friends in Africa. (Although, I’m a little ticked off because grandpa bit me in the arm yesterday as I giving his ears a little massage...)

My other friend is my boss’s 7-year old niece who occasionally spends the weekend with grandma. She’s an assertive little lady who frequently walks into my cottage unannounced and I have started calling her “boss”. The other day she walked in, covered in dirt and still wearing her riding boots, and demanded I changed the channel to Disney... I told her there was no way her dirty bottom was sitting on my bed and that she immediately must take off her riding boots... she then told me I was sooooo “town” and that she has no problems picking up poop with her bare hands. (I gave the remote a good disinfecting after she left...)

And the helper guys... *sigh*... Africa is making me so horny. I have a new crush every day, and one guy looks just like Omar Epps. To be continued...

But, of course this is Africa... the other day I was making cupcakes for the office and the electricity went out. With the help of one of the guys that lives next door, we were able to restore it... but then the water went out after my hands were completely covered in chocolate frosting. That was a tricky situation. AND... a week ago I came back from St. Lucia and there was an ant infestation in my bathroom. Thankfully the helper guys came to the rescue but when I told mom-in-law her response was that they were probably thirsty. I am learning to be patient. (On a good note, I finally got my cable installed and on the first night there was a Law & Order: SVU marathon on!)

So, despite the ants, I'm loving it here... the property is surrounded by beautiful mountains and it's like a little piece of heaven in southern Africa. I spend my time walking the property, feeding apples to the piggies, having dirty thoughts of Swazi Omar Epps, and trying to avoid all the poop along the way. And this might sound cliche, but as I type this entry I'm sitting outside my cottage... listening to the sounds of nature, scanning the night sky for the southern cross, and rocking out to Paul Simon's "Under African Skies". Seriously, folks... how African am I? (Or how American am I trying to be totally African?) (But still more AFRICAN than YOU so THERE!)

Come visit me :)

Oh, and say hi to Ben... he’s our Canadian IT guy who swears he’s like a Hardy boy and can find my blog. Other than the pigs, and my boss’s niece... he’s my only friend in Swaziland.

Botswana, South Africa & two warthogs doing the nasty

Another day, another blog entry...

I returned yesterday from a long week in Maun, Botswana followed by a quick retreat in Nelspruit, South Africa... Botswana was work-related and Nelspruit was a much needed dip in Lake Me. I have officially been in my position for two months and have now visited all the countries we support... so I suppose I can either quit or be fired knowing that I saw what I came to see... but hopefully that won't happen.

Botswana was... well... um... interesting. It was about a two hour flight from Johannesburg and looking out the window I'm pretty sure not one person lives between Joburg and Maun. How would I describe Maun? Lots of sand... lots of little bushes... tons of goats and donkees... and not much else. Sadly, there was some sort of cow disease at some point in the 90s and they all had to be slaughtered. They are now back in Botswana, but now there are a lot of donkeys too. AND there are hippos and crocs, but even more sadly I saw none.

Did I mention I slept in a tent for four nights?

Yup, that's right... Boston Sarah has had to do some majuh readjusting to life in Africa. Expectations have had to be altered (not lowered) and hand sanitizer purchased. I did not wash my hands once (ok, actually just once...) while I was in Maun because the water in the toilet was yellow and I figured it was probably also yellow coming out of the faucet too. I stayed at a camp ground and had two cots and a tent all to myself! It wasn't really roughing it, per se, but it was a tent... the safari kind, but without the safari. And when I arrived there was a cow just hanging out, plus several really large spiders in the bathroom stalls. And I am keeping my fingers crossed that I did not contract malaria... should find out in two weeks when I either get really sick or I don't.

(On a positive note... I have now been out of the country for two and a half months without any tummy troubles!)

I spent two days traveling, and three days visiting our projects. But enough about work...

While in Maun, I had a little bit of an opportunity to do some fun. Nearby there is the Okavango Delta, Chobe Game Reserve, and I think about 8 hours away is Vic Falls (one of the natural wonders, my friends). I did not get to see any of these sites, but I was able to go on a two hour boat road down the river to the entrance of the Delta. Basically there were people in Maun having fun, and we were able to talk the boat driver into letting me go with him to pick up the fun-havers at their camp sites along the river... which is where the hippos and crocs hang out that I did NOT see. But alas, the river is beautiful... tons of exotics birds (if you're into that sort of thing), African lilly pads, those white and pink flowers that just float on the river, and just overall niceness. My plan is to stay a little bit longer the next time and see both the Delta, perhaps Chobe, and definitely Vic Falls. The neat thing about Botswana is that they don't have fences around their reserves, so it's just you and the predators hanging out together under the African sky.

(and as I write this blog, my tin roof just made the loudest noise... that musta been one hell of an avocado... I'd go explore, but this is Africa and all the single ladies should not be exploring outside by themselves after dark).

So, then I flew back to Joburg via Gabarone, and made my way across the N4 to Nelspruit for a nice weekend with no volunteers, work colleagues, or backpackers. In Nelspruit I was able to FINALLY visit some proper malls... (see, I'm already talking like a South African, hey?) which is ironic, because back home shopping and me did not get a long so much... I ordered everything off of amazon because I seriously could not be bothered. Here, it's like heaven... a fresh breath of civilization compared to my new home in Swaziland. And shopping I did... ALL weekend long... not only because it was fun, but because I have a new home to shop for and not too many options nearby.

OMG, and the beef jerky... on the plane ride back to SA, my new Afrikaner friend made me try some... although it had some Dutchy name so I can only assume that's what I was eating based on appearance... and I am so hooked... and they had it all over Nelspruit at the malls. Slim Jim has nothing on these beautiful pieces of dried up South African pieces of meat (I can feel my blood pressure rise as I type this blog).

It was a great weekend to myself in Nelspruit, staying both nights at an adorable little guest house, and on Sunday I made my way back home. I looked at a map, and decided on the quickest route... which turned out to be the longer route through winding roads and mountains and a town with not much there called Piggs Peak. Although that was not the most economic return home, the cool part is that I got to drive past Kruger National Park and went to to the gates to see how much it would cost me to take a little drive... 180 Rand... so that will be a trip for another day.


Speaking of pigs... this morning I went to my car and there was a whole bunch of them just hanging out... protecting my car from strangers.

I may have previously mentioned this, but just as a reminder I totally live on a farm. Not only that, but while I was gone two of the momma pigs had a whole mess of piglets... I'd guess around 7-8... which puts the total pig count to about 15-20 RIGHT OUTSIDE MY DOOR. The chickens are having babies, the goats are having babies, the horses are having babies, I drove past two wart hogs going at it yesterday, and I am here all by myself blogging (When I was young, I never needed anyone...)

So, here we are... today was a successful day back at work and I went to yoga for the first time tonight... and I don't want to get y'all too excited... but... [wait for it]... I may have made some new friends. A bunch of bloody Americans... can you believe it? AND one from Westborough of all places. Oh, Route 9... how I have missed you.

Anyhow, on that note... I think it's time for bed... I will be up at 3 AM with the roosters.

So long, Tent #8 !!

What a week!

On Tuesday I said my goodbyes to Tent #8 and was on my way to Cottage #1. Seven weeks later, and I am FINALLY moving out.

When I was interviewing for the position, Christy said not to worry about finding a new home... she had been in Swaziland for a mere 4 nights when she made her transition from the Lodge to her permanent home... she had been shown a variety of housing options within her first few days and quickly decided on one. Piece of cake, I thought. And besides... I had no problems staying at the Lodge for the interim because with my own private ensuite bedroom, could it really be that bad?

Well, I was pretty much wrong. Apparently Ezulwini is experiencing a real estate boom, because when I rolled into town, they were fresh out of housing options. Not only that, but on my first night ever in AFRICA, as their new MANAGER, I was placed in a dorm room, with no bathroom, three bunk beds, and a mess of roommates. Some of my roommates went to bed early, some slept in late, and I was forced to sift through two years of my life in the dark. I was not happy... to say the least. And p.s., have you ever stayed at a hostel before? The showers and bathrooms are less than desirable. I think this was the first of many what-the-hell-were-you-thinking-when-you-decided-to-apply-for-a-job-in-Swaziland moments.

About a week later, things were looking a little brighter... Christy showed me her home, Cottage #1, and I decided to move in after she vacated... WEEKS later. I also discovered the joys of tent living and made my way to Tent #8 for night number two. Still no private bathroom, but at least I now had natural light and no risk of hitting my head on the bunk above me... and up to three roommates rather than five. I had to make a few room shifts that first week, and a trip to Mozambique, but was able to secure my corner of Tent #8 for the remaining five weeks.

I have since had a love/hate relationship with the Lodge and Tent #8. Let me catch you up on what it's been like.

So here is a picture of the Lodge and Tent #8. Not too much to mention here... but notice that I am reading Power of One? How cliche am I? This front porch is the main hang out area. Sometimes they make me go and get my DVDS which are then projected onto a big screen for movie nights. I have not yet been able to convince any volunteers to watch Brown Sugar or Love & Basketball, but you will be happy to know they LOVED "Just Friends"... speaking of which, I found my lost copy in one of the bags I brought with me... which has since gone through the wash... so if you want my somewhat scratched, but very clean, extra copy... let me know!! (I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky...)

On the same porch, we also have dinners together every night... cooked and cleaned by the volunteers... and usually consist of either chicken or beef, green and red peppers, and rice. Thankfully, I have not been placed on the cooking roster.


One of my favorite things about the lodge is the wildlife. Some days you'll be lying there [reading Power of One] and all of a sudden you'll hear some banging noises on the tin roof [rust!] and the monkeys are playing. One morning Susie hushed me and I turned to look and a little cheeky monkey was sitting on our tent porch! And if it's not the monkeys goofing around, it's Spotty... my boss's dog. As my brother would say... he's pretty much a yipping fuzz ball, but without a whole lotta fuzz. He likes to bark, and is perhaps the most loved critter on the face of the earth. He roams the property looking for cuddles from the seemingly endless supply of staff member and volunteers. And he also likes to jump on my white capris and leave little dirty paw prints... never fails. And as annoying as she is, I am so in love with the little turd... sometimes she would join us in Tent #8 and would amazingly spend the entire evening underneath our blankets.

And as I sit in Cottage #1... which is in the middle of NOWHERE... completely surrounded by nature... one thing I am definitely going to miss is the social life because basically I have no friends yet... but a few times a week I can talk the volunteers into letting me socialize with them. Not that there's an abundance of opportunity in Swaziland, but we've have some nice dinners out on the town. Here's a picture of my first group of volunteers and a Saturday night outing to Spur at Sheba's Breast. I would like to point at the fourth guy from the left... that's Max, and he is my favorite volunteer so far. WICKED !!
So, let's end on a high note... I won't tell you how many times the bathroom was out of toilet paper, or soap, or there was some major funk on the toilet seat... or how the showers gave you an electric shock when you turned the knob or how the water was freezing cold because it had been raining for a few days and the solar energy failed to heat the water... or how the Khumbis stopped running at 7PM and I was essentially stuck at the lodge without any access to ice cream... or how my clothes would take days to dry on the line and I had to wear wet undies to work... and how it felt like I was at work 24/7 for seven entire weeks. Although I love my new cottage (and the rooster who wakes me up at 3 AM in the morning), part of me is gonna miss that Tent #8.

Cape Town & African Tick Bite Fever

Sorry folks for not keeping you in the loop, but I almost died...

Ok... I jest... but I was really really sick. (Thanks Africa!) Now, let's catch up...

During our last chat I had just returned from zee bush where we were busy counting giraffes (and I was busy catching a virus). The next week I was off with Christy to Cape Town, specifically Hout Bay, to visit some more of the projects. I have always wanted to go to Cape Town, so I was beyond excited. We drove to Johannesburg, caught our flight on 1time, and we were off!

Overall, sneezes aside, Cape Town did not disappoint. We have a new backpacker lodge and it was luxurious compared to Tent #8 in Ezulwini. And I was fortunate enough to have my own room and bathroom for the week! (My first private time since leaving for India!) It was a slow month which gave me plenty of time to get to know the coordinator and new lodge manager.

On the project side of things, Shannon & I went on a tour of the township in Hout Bay (Imizamo Yethu) with our tour guide, Afrika... as far as townships go, it didn't seem too bad... although wikipedia just told me "The Disa River which runs through this settlement has the highest level of e-coli bacteria that has ever been recorded in South Africa" so I guess you decide. I suppose nothing some hand sanitizer can't take care of? Just don't go swimming.

On tour day, and the subsequent days, we visited all the daycare centers that we support within the township and helped with the reading club one afternoon. We also visited a boarding school outside of the township for troubled youth, plus a company that makes crafts out of used tea bags. They employ township residents and we are hoping to place future volunteers there.

We also visited a school in a community in Hout Bay called Hangberg. Still trying to wrap my brain around this particular area, but it's a community of "coloured" folk who speak Afrikaans. It's a dangerous area, with a drug problem, and a quick google search revealed a riot in 2010. I'm still learning about this community, but there seems to be some parallels to the aboriginal community in Australia. We met with Christy's favorite teach, Teach, and there is clearly loads of work to be done.

During the week, the coordinator took us on a touristy tour of Cape Town and we headed up the jaw dropping Victoria Road to Cape Town's V&A Waterfront. And this is when I fell in love with Cape Town. SO BEAUTIFUL! Stunning coast... impressive mountains... and a lovely city to boot! It was like Africa's Sydney and I can't wait to go back. It was a quick tour for me, and on the next trip I plan on taking some vacation time to explore Table Mountain, Cape Point, Cape of Good Hope, wine country and possibly some white shark cave diving (gasp!)... at which point in time I may have to get the shark tramp stamp I have always wanted... If I survive.

It was a great week and it felt refreshing to be back in civilization once more. Christy and I headed back to the Kingdom of Swaziland... just in time for Easter and a weekend of braaie and volunteers and sadly no Easter bunny... and then I got very, very sick.

I was still recovering from my virus and Monday started out with a feeling of general poopiness all morning, and then I got the chills and the aches and feverishness and then it turned into the longest week of my life. Some nights I slept... some nights I was too cold to sleep... and other nights I woke up completely drenched. I had to go to work because I was still in training, and I felt like total shite with an off and on fever that lasted SEVEN days. We had Christy's going away paint ball, and then mountaintop picnic, and I could barely hold myself up. I was ridiculously miserable.

Not only did I have a fever... but weird things started happening to my body... at first my belly was covered in red dots that looked like mosquito bites of varying shapes... then they moved to my face and it was like 16 year old Sarah was coming back for a surprise visit. I then developed a nice bumpish thing on my right cheek near my underwear line and Susie did some investigating. I'm going to keep it real here, folks... she said it looked like I was growing mold. She took a picture with her iphone and she was right. If that's not disgusting enough, during paint ball I discovered two more similar creatures, one behind each knee.

I don't think anyone believes me, but I swear I have African Tick Bite Fever. Google it. Google image search the hell out of it. Remember the giraffes from a coupla weeks ago? Well... those giraffes were covered in ticks and so was I. There were ticks EVERYWHERE and at least one of those fellas musta bit me... I have been to hell and back but the good news is that I am here to tell you I am a survivor... I'm gonna make it...

It's been a solid two days fever-free and suddenly I like Swaziland again. My face is starting to clear up again (although my three moldy sores are taking their sweet time)... tomorrow is Christy's last day at work... I buy her car on Monday... and I move into my new cottage on Tuesday! So long Tent #8.

And it's off to Botswana in a week!

Some stuff that I have been up to...

I'm in bed right now recovering from my first African virus, so thought it would be a good time to do a quick catch up. Huuuuuuh-chooo!

I've officially been in Africa for 4 weeks now... so hard to believe and it's been total chaos the entire time. Because I'm still living at the lodge with the volunteers, it's like I've been at work for a month straight. And because I am busy trying to get trained before Christy leaves, I have been out visiting all our projects... this week I spent one whole day actually at the office.

This past week was the first week at the projects for our new volunteers and I tagged along on Monday to see what goes down. In the morning I participated in sports day, followed by hospital visits in the afternoon to visit the sick [which is probably why I'm viral]. Because the kiddos are young, sports day is more like jumping rope, riding bikes, and doing the hokey cokey (as the British volunteers insist it's called). When you arrive at the center, the kids start screaming "teacher, teacher" and run and jump all over you... It's a tough job.

On this particular day, I experienced perhaps the most adorable moment of my entire life. The volunteers got a group of students to stand in a circle and they started "Dance Baby Dance". One at a time, each student takes a turn dancing in the circle... after they are done the student sings "I want to choose someone"... the circle yells "Choose!"... then the student sings "who will dance for me?"... the circle yells "Dance!" and then the student chooses a new dancer... and dance baby dance begins again. Not only are they the cutest kids ever, but damn... they can dance. When I come home for a visit, I will try to remember to show you all my new moves.


On Tuesday we had a donor from the UK visit and along with the Social Projects Coordinator, we took them to many of our local projects. In the morning they visited one of our neighborhood care points that we built, observed swimming lessons, participated in sports day, and then it was horseback riding in the afternoon. It was a fun, but exhausting day.

On Wednesday, Christy and I left bright & early to visit the conversation project for Swaziland. It was about a 1-2 hour drive to the eastern part of the country near the Mozambiquan border. There are four game reserves right next to each other where we do research projects. At the moment, the volunteers are researching rodent activity as well as trying to count the number of giraffes in the park. Yes, my friends... giraffes. I was all Safari Sarah in the company Mahindra as we drove around looking for the critters... AND we also saw a whole bunch of different elk/deer/gazelle type animals, wart hogs, zebra, wildebeest, monkeys and baboons. That night, we made smores, listened to Quinn play the guitar, and then Christy and I shared a tent. It was more game drives on Thursday at which point in time my African virus decided to pay a visit. We drove home mid-day and were lucky to see some elephants along the way!

And here I am! Today Susie & I did some more car shopping... It's been VERY difficult because the dealerships don't like to work very much and the only time I can go is Saturday morning. AND no matter what car I look at, what year, or what mileage... they always tell me the cost is $40,000 Rand. I'm beginning to become suspicious.

On that note... It's time for bed, my friends... tomorrow I am off to Cape Town for a few days, so I'm sure I will have some more stories :)

Mozambique

This past week was my first business trip (!!) and the destination was Tofo, Mozambique. On Monday morning Christy picked me up bright and early at 6:30 AM to make the long drive 11 hour drive from Swaziland. About two hours into the trip we arrive at the border in Goba and the contrast was quite striking. In Swaziland, the customs building is this beautiful modern wooden structure and the Swazis greeted us with warm smiles; the border in Mozambique was on the dumpy side and nuttin but stern looks as we get shuttled around from station to station (Christy has informed me the process changes each time she crosses the border). About an hour later, we cruise through the capital of Maputo and begin the 8 hour drive through the country... which makes Stow, Mass look like a booming metropolis. There were no rest areas on this route, and Christy had each bathroom stop carefully planned. I decide going forward that nature will be my rest area as my L.L. Bean flip flops are not getting near those bathrooms. We get pulled over twice by police, one that insists she has crossed the center line and Christy warns me that corruption is a problem and bribes are common... it's late and we have a quick bite to eat (calamari for me) at Tofo Tofo down the road.

(Tofo is pronounced Tofu and it's very very hot.)

On Tuesday we are getting ready for our ocean safari (!!) and have a quick meeting with the owners of the dive center. I'm a little bit nervous about this new adventure, not because I'm about to swim in the open water, but because [quite frankly] I'm not sure I can get my arse into the boat. I was pretty confident going into the trip, but then I find out once your in the water, you have to get back in (which in retrospect makes total sense). There's about ten of us on the ocean safari and we walk down to the Indian Ocean to meet our ride... which is really like a big rubber dingy. We push and push and then the ladies are instructed to climb aboard, which means you jump as hard as you can over the side, reach for the foot strap (with your hands!) and then very ungracefully you fall into the boat with your white bum held high into the air. We cruise at pretty high speeds to whale shark territory, sitting on the side of the boat holding on for dear life... and it such a rush! On this particular day we find a few humpback dolphins, some manta rays (which I sadly did not see), and a whale shark! I have had a little crush on the whale shark for years, and it was quite a special moment to be swimming alongside my new friend. (I will spare you the embarrassing details regarding how I got back into the boat.) Following the safari, we had lunch at Dino's with our Coordinator... then we went on the turtle conservation walk... and that was that.

On Wednesday, I spent the day with the Assistant Coordinator. A few of the volunteers had to get their visa extended so we made the trip to Maxixe (pronounced Mashish) which sounded easy enough to me when I first heard the plan. First we took the shoppa to Inhambane.... a 45 minutes drive on a minibus that far extended its capacity. It was hot and it was smelly. Then we walked to the waterfront and boarded a "ferry" to Maxixe. The ferry was basically a dingy, again filled past capacity, that managed to get stuck on a sand bar and smelled like the live chicken in the bag sitting next to me. About two hours later we arrived and I was sweaty. We waited about an hour at the immigration building, went for breakfast, and then eventually made our way back to Tofo after a few errands. Let me also add that I spent the way back on the bus to Tofo with a sack of potatoes that were not mine. That afternoon it was time for English club at the local school... Christy was on my bad list today because she did not give me fair warning. DEAR LORD... I would guess the walk was 2-3 km through a jungle of palm trees in the blazing sun in 4-6 inches of hot sand. We arrive at the school, heart palpitating and sweat dripping from every single pore, and walk into a stand alone classroom made out of straw. The room was filled with 20-30 of the cutest students I have ever seen (which made me less angry at Christy) and one of our volunteers conducted the English class today. Imagine all these young Mozambiquans reciting in unison "My grandma is a woman." SO FRIGGEN CUTE and the walk from hell was completely forgotten. That night we went to the whale shark talk delivered by our research director and had dinner with him and his lady friend that evening.

On Thursday it was another day with the Assistant Coordinator and that morning we visited two of the orphanages. The first one was in great shape with nice buildings, great staff, and the cutest kids you have ever seen. As we walked across the campus, they dangled from any part of my body they could latch on to and I fell in love over and over and over again. The second orphanage... not so much. This orphanage was significantly more run down, less desirable staff, and some orphans with some pretty significant issues. One of the girls had diabetes (or so we think) and her foot had started to rot... which now makes me feel like I should complain less about my life. We then went grocery shopping for the volunteers which took a while because the groceries were not nicely bundled in one air conditioned store (imagine that!) ... basic groceries in one store... the bread in another... and the produce in yet another. (And tonight I am going to write a proposal to Shaw's.) That night the research director had a meeting for his association in which conservation type stuff was discussed.

After a long week in the blazing soon and getting acquainted to doing stuff the Mozambique way, Friday was lazy day! I continued to read "Power of One"... which I have been meaning to read for YEARS... and then chilled at the volunteer house for a while. The volunteer house is right on the ocean and is BEAUTIFUL if you can ignore the fact that the steps are falling apart and the water does not work every day. Our new intern arrived from Portugal that afternoon and we had dinner at Tofo Tofo (calamari again).

Saturday we were departed at 6 AM and it was back to Mozambique. Packed tightly in the back seat was our luggage and one of the volunteers... he had finished two months in Mozambique and was heading to the conservation project in Swazi for another two months. Another long trip back and that night we had a Braai at the lodge and I was able to secure Tent 8 with Susie for the next month and that made me very happy.

As I reflect upon the last two weeks, there have definitely been plenty of ups and downs. Some days I feel that my head must be broken for moving to Swazi and there are other times where I feel extraordinarily lucky... like last night when we were all hanging around the three picnic tables on the porch, finishing our dinner, and one of the volunteer set up "It's Complicated" on the big outdoor screen. We all settled in to the movie, laughed together while weird African critters made noises in the background... then I went to the bathroom and noticed that my nicely manicured eyebrows are now completely overgrown ...

I bless the rains down in AFRICA

Wow... what can I say? I've now been in AFRICA for officially a week now. AfRiCa. I still can't believe that I'm here.

So let me bring y'all up to speed. I arrived at the airport in Johannesburg last Sunday (3/20) around 7 AM in the morning. Although my destination in Swaziland was only about 4 hours away, this is AFRICA and I had to wait until 2 PM for the minibus to pick me up. It's not a busy destination and there is only one shuttle a day. I found a nice little cafe in the airport and settled in for some good ol' fashion interneting until about noon when I ventured out to find some lunch. I found a joint called Spur (think Texas) and quickly decided on a cheeseburger... you can imagine how I was feeling after two weeks of my new vegetarian lifestyle. I asked for a napkin which caused a frenzy because they don't have napkins in AFRICA... they have servettes.

Around 2 PM I found my bus, and I was on my way... joining me was a lovely lady from Uganda, and another woman and young girl who didn't say too much. (The woman from Uganda, Esther, contacted me mid-week and is now trying to get a position at my new company.) En route we watched the Bucket List and one of those Big Momma movies and before you know it we arrived in Mbabane. Let me just add that I was on quite a high all morning as I tried to absorb as much South Africa as possible... but the drive was BORING. It was relatively flat, orange, with the occasional green and I was starting to get some cold feet... not to mention it didn't seem like anyone lived in these here parts. At the border, we waited in a line in South Africa and then another line in Swaziland. It was unexpectedly cold and I thought "I'm going to love AFRICA" because basically I can't take the heat which might sound ridiculous since I decided to move to AFRICA.

Christy picked me up at the bus station (or gas station as I like to call it) around 6 PM and it was another surreal moment. I think what I was thinking at the time was probably something like "Fuck, this is really happening." Christy took me to Quartermain's for dinner in Ezulwini (my new home) and I order the prawns. Yes, folks... prawns. We did some work gossiping and she did her best to give me the unofficial down low before my first day of work the next day. She drove me to my new temporary home... the lodge (i.e. hostel) and I couldn't wait to see my private room! ... which turned out to have three bunk beds and 4 other people living in it. There were people all over the place and it was not the calm oasis I had pictured in my mind. Turns out it was a South African holiday and it was party time for the youngsters... I was tired and wondering if I had mad the right decision. Which I suppose is what you do when you're tired.

(As I type this blog, one of the volunteers found me in my tent to handle a dispute... the kitchen was painted today and there was a communication issue and now no dinner!)

On that note... let me wrap up week #1 for you!

Apparently, it is HOT in AFRICA. Swaziland is divided into three areas a cooler region in the higher elevation (i.e. the border), the middle temperate zone where I live, and the tropical zone near Mozambique. We are heading out of Summer, but apparently Ezulwini was unseasonably warm this week... which basically means I did a lot of sweating. I heard rumors that it reached 40 degrees celsius, but to me it felt like a hot summer day in Boston without air conditioning. You may be thinking "no big deal" but I dare you to pick the hottest week in Boston and give it a go. I've been nervous about the heat, but I was expecting worse so I do feel victorious. The only problem is that it's hard to work for about four of the hottest hours of the day when all you can think is "OMG, I am so hot... can they see my pit stains? AFRICA is hot!"

Unfortunately... what comes with adjusting to heat is majuh cankles... and this was a new one for me. After day #4 they got so big it actually hurt to move them... which also made it hard to walk. The good news is that you can go to your local pharmacy and get water pills without a prescription. And other pills as well.

The beginning of the week was very overwhelming as I was adjusting to the heat, jet lag, and weird Swazi names. I am the manager over the entire volunteer program and it's really embarrassing when you can't remember if you met someone already, what their name is, and if they are reporting into you. I'm trying to think of weird tricks to remember the names of our staff, and one of the coordinator's names rhymes with No-sleep-oh. I have been very pleased with the staff so far... it's very laid back and [for the most part] everyone seems great to work with. We are dealing with one issue where one of the staff members got drunk and totaled the car of another staff member. Did I mention my manager is a total hotty? (note to self: do NOT share this blog link with anyone in AFRICA)

On the first day Christy drove me out to a few of the local volunteer sites. We went to the Ezulwini NCP and were greeted by about 15 or so orphaned children. They called me teacher and immediately started jumping all over me. I quickly realized that if you pick up one of them, you have to pick up all of them. Also, they like to roll around in the dirt for fun (silly kids!) before you pick them up. I jest, but it was truly a special and eye opening experience. Sadly, I've heard that a majority of the orphans are infected with HIV.

We have four sites currently (Swaziland, Cape Town, Botswana and Mozambique) and right now there are about 15 volunteers in the Swazi program. I am slowly getting to know them all and they will hold a special place in my heart as my first volunteers. Most of them are quite young (18-24) except Tom and Issy. Tom is from Newcastle and is in the army (and I can hardly understand a thing he says) and Issy is Scottish but grew up mostly in England... I would place them near retirement age and they are getting married this Fall! Susie is my favorite, and she's a sassy youngster from England who likes to talk my everyone's ear off. I've become quite fond of Anna as well, who is a more reserved English gal who laughed at me when I called her British. Max, who has a German and American passport, grew up in England and randomly shouts out "Wicked" when something tickles his fancy. On day #1 we went to one of our sites and I had the pleasure of watching him do the Hokey Pokey with about 20 youngsters... or the Hokey Cokey as the say in the UK. We have a few others from the UK, a German girl, and 4 of the Dutch variety. As I have warmed up, I have spent more time getting to know them and last night we all went to dinner together... it was grand (as they say in the UK) if you overlook that three of us head to send our steaks back and our meals were delivered over the course of a half hour... it's Swazi time I hear.

My manager is Kim and he's a guy. (This is AFRICA, people.) He lives in the house up the hill with his gorgeous wife, and two adorable kids. His wife owns a workout studio which is also on the campus which means I am suffering from a massive amount of guilt. This week they invited Christy, me, and two others up to their house for dinner and I had my first slice of African pizza. They have a little dog Spot, and we've been doing some serious bonding. She's a little one, and I'm guessing perhaps a mix of Jack Russell Terrier and Chihuahua and she likes to follow me around. She spends the day in the office, and last night she joined us in our tent. She had the chills this morning, so I wrapped her up in one of the sheets all morning and she slept in my arms like a little baby. Awwwwwwwww.

As I mentioned, night #1 was quite a surprise when I was placed in the dorm room. The next night I begged and they moved me to a tent which has four (non bunk) beds. It's actually really cool... they're quite airy and you can hear the noises of nature and the little stream that runs adjacent to the tent. And there are monkeys (!!) and avocado trees! Christy showed me her place this week and I am soooo in. She lives in a little guest cottage on a property that is adjacent to the Millwane Game Reserve. As you drive in you pass the stables where there are zebras (!!), horses, wart hogs, and all sorts of African elk or gazelle or whatever they call them here. The cottage is small, but it's totally adorbs and has an updated kitchen and bath. The landscape is breathtaking and I can't wait to move in early May and send you pics! When I'm there, I feel totally out of AFRICA.

This week I went on the tour with the volunteers to Mantenga Nature Reserve. There we witnessed some African dancing and singing (I was forced to participate) and then got a tour of what a traditional Swazi village looks like... they are little straw huts enforced by cow dung (or something to that effect). But that's not the exciting part... when we got our entrance sticker (a little red dot) the tour guy (his name is Psycho... and I'm totally not kidding) continued to apply the red dot to the nipple area on all the ladies. When he got to me, I thought I'd be slick and go to grab the sticker first, but he wasn't having it. Only in AFRICA.

After a week, I'm starting to slowly acclimate myself and relax into my new life. It's very different from anything I have experienced and it feels so odd to be a part of this backpacking culture. I've been here a week and I have easily met 40-50 people from all over the world. Ezulwini is sandwiched between the two major "cities" (Mbabane and Manzini) in a valley that is breathtakingly beautiful. There are mountains on both sides of the main road and it's surprisingly lush for how I imagined AFRICA would be. I have also been quite surprised by the level of development here and it's an odd mix of modern luxuries and third world poverty. About a mile down the road is a shopping center called the Gables which has a KFC, several restaurants (including Chinese), a modern grocery store, a few botiques and a brand new movie theatre (now showing the Green Hornet, Yogi Bear, Love & Other Drugs, and 127 Hours). And there is no hope that I will break my ice cream addiction because they have magnum bars, which was a staple for me whilst living in Sydney. It's similar to a Dove bar and unfortunately I will not be able to say no.

Overall, what a week! Did I mention that I'm driving to Mozambique tomorrow?

Cows, cows and more cows!! (Or, my trip to India...)

When I first started this India blog back in Delhi, I was going to do several entries, but then I got behind and decide to do a one big mother of a blog entry just for India. Five rupies to whoever actually reads the entire entry, plus some curry on the side.

On that note, lets catch up.

At 2:30 PM on Saturday, March 5th, I left my parents house in Stow, MA unsure of when I would next return. It had been a long month of planning and I was still packing and sorting things out that morning. It's hard to explain how it feels to move out of the country, but one thing is for sure... I was exhausted after three weeks of moving out of my apartment, getting ready for my journey, and saying all my goodbyes. Not to mention a few pounds heavier thanks to my friends and family. (And a special thanks to Emily for my kick ass safari hat and Ilse for a surprise visit to Stow with Conley's onion rings!!)

My parents dropped me off at Logan, and my mother and I did some luggage shifting, and the attendant graciously let me slide by without an overweight baggage fee. We then said our sad goodbyes, and I was off to Delhi via Newark on Continental Airlines scheduled to depart Boston at 4:45 and arrive Sunday evening in Delhi. The flight from New Jersey was scheduled for 14 hours, but much to my delight the winds were in our favor and it was estimated at 13 hours plus [believe it or not] free in-flight entertainment! I lugged a pile of People and Entertainment across several terminals, thanks to my grandmother (my carry-on weighed in the 35-40 pound range), but opted instead for "Rachel Getting Married" and "The King's Speech". There was an empty seat next to me, and overall it was a pleasant flight considering. (And p.s. the King's Speech was BORING!)

As I mentioned previously, I was traveling to India with the owner of Soni Yoga Studio (David), and three other women: Jen, Kathy and Amy. We arrived in Delhi without any problems, and it was time to travel to our destination, the Tara Palace Hotel, in Old Delhi. Yellow & green cabs that appeared to be older than me lined the street outside the terminal. Kathy, David & I squeezed into the back of one, and I held on for dear life as we made a way across New Delhi into Old. The sites and smells were very overwhelming and as we made our way to the hotel I started to really question my decision-making abilities. As Kathy stated the next day, it felt like all my senses were being assaulted. It was dirty, it was smelly, it was poor. Eat, Pray, What the F was I thinking? (shout out to Patty!)

We arrived at the hotel after walking down a dingy alley and it was definitely not anything I was used to, to say the least. Amy and I headed to our room, and I quickly noticed there was no shower stall and in its place a dingy bucket. After I sat there and wondered how that was going to work, and feeling pretty ripe after a long flight, I was relieved to discover a shower head and later found out the bucket was for washing clothes... um, not. We met on the roof of the hotel and had a bite to eat, and it was time to say goodnight.

The next day (Monday, March 7th) we wondered around Old Delhi until around 2 PM. I wish I could give you all a quick glimpse of what I saw, because I cannot accurately describe this experience in words. It was very loud, it was crowded and I was on edge with the sound of constant horns. As the day progressed, the market became more and more lively... there were farm stands, clothing, cafes, and many spice stores. As it became warmer, the smell became an overwhelming combination of pollution, people, animals, spices and perfumes. There was so much trash in the street with an occasional fire to burn it. There was absolutely no order that I could find and at any given time there could be cows, dogs, monkeys, people, bikes, carts, pedi cabs, motorcycles, cars and trucks roaming the streets. I was told by Indian friends that there would be cows, and cows there were! Not to mention a large number of stray dogs and people in pretty bad shape that seemed to live on the streets. The buildings were old and in much needed repair and the power lines were a tangled mess throughout the market. There's a good chance we blinded the natives with our pasty white skin and there were many stares as we walked by. We had a bite to eat in the evening, walked through a local Hindu temple, and took it easy the rest of the evening. I can't say I'd have a desire to travel back to Old Delhi (although I will later in the week), but feel fortunate that I was given the opportunity to experience this part of the world.

On Tuesday (March 8th) we woke up at the butt crack of dawn and the four ladies were off to Agra to see the... [wait for it] ... Taj Mahal. I believe it took us about 4 hours and again we were met with some very jaw dropping sites as we headed out of Delhi into the countryside. By this point, monkeys & cows were pretty much old news, but today we saw camels!! And an elephant out of the very corner of my eyes!! On this day, we directly witnessed what it was like to drive through India. Lines on the streets were merely a suggestion, and passing was an art form. Honking was commonplace and a way to keep drivers alert (and passengers) and our driver was laying it on thick. Once out of the city we quickly passed through many crowded villages on the side of the road and then we would make our way through the country once again. We arrived in Agra, left our belongings in the car, and walked about a 1/2 mile to the Taj Mahal. We passed through a few residential streets... which was very unique and charming if you could ignore the sewage drain running along both sides of the streets. We paid our entrance fee at the Taj, collected our red booties, walked through the gate, and there it was! It was just as I imagined, but a very surreal experience. We spent about an hour or two walking through the sites, and our tour guide ("Din" or something like that) had all the right photo tricks to capture the moment. After that we walked to a nearby cafe for lunch, passing more camels! Din promised us the "second part of the tour" following lunch which turned out to basically be a tourist trap or the "back room" as David called it. We were brought to a house where men were carving flowers into the marble, just like at the Taj, but following the demonstration we were given an obnoxiously polished sales pitch. We got out of there as quickly as possible and it was back to Delhi.

Wait... not so fast. I'm about to get personal, so skip this next paragraph if needed. *cough* NAT *cough*

Delhi is 10 1/2 hours ahead of Boston and my internal clock was a little confused as you can probably imagine. It was the moment I had been fearing since I left Boston, and in the middle of the drive my tummy suddenly wasn't feeling so hot. I entertained the thought of waiting it out, but was also aware we'd be arriving in Delhi during rush hour. I decided to be brave and asked the driver to stop at a toilet. He pulled into an outside cafe and warned me the toilet would not be clean... he was not lying. My new best friend Jen accompanied me to the bathroom and served as my assistant. There bathroom was very dark, there were several stalls, and there was the sound of water dripping everywhere. Jen had the thank-god-its-not-me look and I had the oh-shit-why-me-why-me-why-me look as the color quickly drained from my face. She held my purse for sanitary reasons, and I headed in. It was dark, it was dirty, and it was a squat toilet. Thankfully I'm usually pretty good at planning ahead, and I opened up the roll of toilet paper I had stolen from the hotel. There was a bucket of water next to the toilet and I used that to send things down the drain because I'm pretty sure that's what I was supposed to do. I left the stall, and Jen was still there holding my purse. I went to reach in to grab my wipes, and she quickly stopped me because she was not going to let my dirty paws come close to my belongings. (Isn't she the best?) Like we were in surgery... she handed the wipe to me... and then the second wipe... as I cleaned off the dirtiest bathroom I have ever encountered. I conquered that bathroom like nothing else!!

On Wednesday (March 9th), again at the butt crack of dawn, we left Delhi and started the drive north to Rishikesh, a holy (and vegetarian) city located in the foothills of the Himalayas. Pretty cool, right? Not much to say here that hasn't already been mentioned, other than another crazy drive through the towns and countryside of India. If I am remembering correctly it's only about 200-225 KM away, but it took us about 6 hours to drive. As we neared Haridwar, we finally located the Ganga and began the slow descent into the foothills arriving in Rishikesh about 45 minutes later. I've always been a decent traveler, but when we arrived at ashram in Rishikesh (Parmarth Niketish) I definitely found myself out of my comfort zone. It's a holy city, and attracts a distinct group of travelers. That night we went to the Aarti, and while the rest of my group was quite moved, I was sorta still trying to figure out what the hell was going on. I'll need to google this, but the Aarti is basically a ritual where you throw all your baggage into the Ganga. It involves a lot of singing and we were in luck because Swamiji, the Guru, was there. People were swaying their heads, clapping, one of my traveling buddies was brought to tears... me, I was having a not-in-Kansas moment. Following the Aarti, we had dinner (on the floor) (cuz that's what you do at an ashram) in the dining room.

On Thursday (March 10th) we had our Panchakarma consultation (google it) with the doctor at 9:30 and our first treatment immediately after from 10-12. The treatment consisted of a full body massage with sesame oil, oil dripped on the forehead, and a steam bath. My masseuse was about 4 foot 10 (if that) and let's just say I got the full body massage. I'm not going to lie; I was still out of my comfort zone and hated every minute of it. Plus, I was still getting used to all the smells... sesame oil? Aren't massages supposed to smell like flowers and rainbows? After the first treatment we walked the foot bridge across the Ganga and did some shopping. Monkeys galore!! Stunning views of the river and Himalayas. That night we went to Aarti again and as newcomers to the ashram we participated in some sort of tradition... not sure what it's called or what it meant... it involved flowers, rice and a dot on my forehead. Coincidentally, the man who conducted the ceremony also is the owner of the cyber cafe down the road. Once we were dotted, the Aarti begun and our job was to throw dirt on the fire every time they said a word (remember to google this later) and for what seemed like forever. Around 6pm, this was done and the crowd started to gather and the Guru arrived... and a whole bunch of visiting monks! About 24 hours into my stay, I was beginning to relax and really enjoyed the music and the experience. Not to mention that ashram was a beautiful oasis in a very chaotic country. (and I developed a mad crush on the fire ceremony guy)

Friday (March 11th) Not much to report. At my massage today we decided to not use the loin cloth and I would just lie there completely naked. Whatever happens in India, stays in India. I was starting to loosen up, and actually enjoyed the treatment. Today we started our Geeeeeeeee (not sure if I'm spelling that right... it's clarified butter) regimen where today I had to have two Tbsp at lunch and dinner, and three the next two days. It almost made me vomit. I really shoulda googled panchakarma before arrival, but basically between the geeeeeeeee and the sesame oil, we start working out the toxins in our bodies and I'll give you the whole story on Sunday, March 13th. Other than that, today was pretty uneventful... the rest of the group walked to a nearby town and I decided to have some Sarah relaxation time... or as Emily would say... it was time to take a dip in Lake Me. That night I went to the Aarti again... and... NO GURU! D'oh!

Saturday (March 12th) Third massage treatment... still no clothes. The treatment started at 10 AM and before that I wandered outside of the ashram and nearby market to more of the residential area. Near the ashram, westerners are not an unfamiliar site, but on these streets I was getting some strange looks. I was stopped by two men probably around the same age as me and they one by one took a picture with me... with their arms around me. It was kinda awkward, but I guess after all the years of traveling and taking obnoxious pics, it was my turn. After the treatment, we went white water rafting on the Ganga. Let me just add that I never thought I would get within 500 miles of the ganga... I've seen the National Geographic pics. But yesterday, we boarded a raft right on top of it. It was about a 20 minute trip up into the foothills of the himalayas. The sites were amazing, the roads not so much. Not including the guide, there were 7 rafters and due to the odd number I got to sit at the front of the boat and did not have to row and could absorb the views... lucky for my arms... not for the rest of my body which was completely drenched. Overall, it was a relatively calm ride, but one rapid was a bit scary and a wave went right over me, Kathy & David. Took my breath away.... a few minutes later Amy asked whose sunglasses were sitting in the back of the raft and I had completely forgotten I was wearing them. We came to a particularly smooth area on the river, and the guide said something like "now you jump". uh, no way. (National Geographic pics...) Our two new Indian friends went (even though one couldn't swim)... then David with a graceful dive... then Jen... AND THEN ME with a not so graceful side belly flop. I'm not going to lie... it was cold and as I was peering back up at the boat I realized I made a big mistake. Jumping out into the Ganga was the easy part, but how was I going to get back into the raft? I'm going to spare you the embarrassing details, but our guide musta have been sporting some serious guns. So far, this was the highlight of the trip... and more specifically, the moment Kathy and I gave our two new Indian friends a quick Metallica concert on the raft... the views were breathtaking and it was great to get that blood flowing again! Went to the Aarti and no guru AGAIN (sad face).

Oh, Sunday (March 13th)... day of cleansing and fasting. I have had two colonoscopies and thought this was going to be a walk in the park. Let's just say that I was completely humbled on treatment day #4. Amy & I had our normal treatment from 8-10, and following we met with the doctor to drink the drink. It consisted of whole bunch of castor oil and some milky stuff and then some strange pill. We were told to eat no food and drink 3 liters of water and the oil would start working it's way out in about three hours... which really means 1 hour in American time. During the early afternoon I went to the bathroom a few times, worked on my blog, and things were going smoothly. And then I almost died. There was a point in time in which I was sitting on the toilet holding the laundry bucket thinking my final day would be spent in India. It's called a cleansing, but I think it was just really another form of food poisoning. After about 15 trips or so to the bathroom, I finally was cleansed around 4 AM... This day sucked, and to add insult to injury as I lay there groaning I could hear the Guru at the Aarti.

Monday (March 14th)... day after cleansing and fasting... I was scheduled for a massage at 10am, but homey don't play that. I skipped. Around 11ish, David came over with some soup and I stole some of Amy's jolly ranchers. I had some WHO electrolytes and was starting to slowly come back to life. I walked to the end of the hall to refill my water, and noticed my flip flops were loose from being so dehydrated. We ventured to lunch where I had some white rice and bread. The three ladies sat outside in the courtyard and I fell asleep until it was Aarti time at 5:30. We were all still very weak, so Jen & I held back and stood at the top of the stairs looking down on the Aarti. Today was a special Aarti day, because my Guru was there (yay!) and my new Indian boyfriend. This was a prime staring location. My new Indian boyfriend... think of whats-his-face from the movie version of King & I and then picture him as an Indian. I really know how to pick them, because all the men at the ashram are so kind & gentle, but he smokes and seems to be packing a serious attitude problem. But, it's love... so what can I say? After the Aarti it was Q&A time with the Guru and then dinner. The Guru seems to answer all the questions in Hindi, whereas the questions in English are answered by his right hand lady. I really dig her. Tonight she told us her favorite creation story where we are all made from the same ocean, and the water from the ocean scattered so that some of us are river drops, some are mountain drops, some are ocean drops, etc... but we're all drops from the same place regardless of color, religion, social class, etc. Someone else asked how to get unstuck from a project you're working on and she gave a great talk on how for some we are afraid of success and really get in our own way. I have to google her as well because she's quite a character... she's American, went to Stanford, and somehow she ended up here. Oh, and tonight I bought a silver OM pendant, which made me feel very touristy. After Kathy and I did some interneting and jewelry shopping at Sunil's store, we walked outside and were approached by a pack of stray dogs and [oh my god] the cutest bunch of little pups I have ever seen. I asked for dog food at the little store and bought a pack of what seemed like slices of pound cake. Kathy and I fed the dogs and walked back to the ashram.

By the way... as I typed this blog, the electricity just went out.

Tuesday (March 15th)... Today I had a powder treatment with some sort of grain which apparently is good to break up the fat... (the doctor ordered this treatment for the rest of my stay.) I went for my steam bath, but was still dizzy from the cleanse and was only able to handle about a minute. Now it was time for my sinus cleanse where I fell in love again! In the doctor's office there is the doctor, two ladies and a male masseuse. Today the male masseuse gave me a little vicks vapor rub sinus treatment and then 15 minutes of the most heavenly face and head massage. He's so adorable, so gentle and I want to bring him to Africa with me. After that I went to Sunil's shop to use the wifi... which wasn't working... but instead I chatted with some Indian dude with long hair who I think David said was an astrologer. I don't mean to brag or anything, but I'm pretty sure he had a little crush on me and I showed him pictures of me through the years that were stored on my laptop. After lunch it was time to travel up the Himalayas to see the Nihlkanth temple, which has significant meaning in the Hindu religion and is has direct relationship to Shiva. I think it was the combination of the melatonin my roommate was drugging me with, the cleanse, the jet lag, the altitude, and my affinity for car sickness, but I was not in good shape after we arrived an hour later. I dragged myself through the temple and surrounding village and when we got back to Rishikesh, I had to take a little nap. Then I dragged myself to the Ganga to see the Aarti and boyfriend #1. After the Aarti I went to the room to lie down, and Amy woke me up at 7:50 because it was time to go to Sunil's for dinner. We walked about a block or two down the road from the ashram where we found Sunil's compound which looked like a three story apartment with a total of 6 units... apparently in India, family members like to live close to each other. We were greeted by Sunil's brother and his wife and were each given a lay flowers. The wife made us Dahl (sp?), some creamed spinach concoction, buttered nand and for dessert the most fabulous little donut ball thing drenched in a sugary syrup. She passed our photos and her daughter (5) and son (3) entertained us for most of the evening.

Wednesday (March 16th)... Today I had my last panchakarma treatment which consisted of an eye cleanse with gleeee (performed by my beloved) and the powder treatment and oil-dripping-on-the-forehead thing. For the eye treatment my boyfriend put clay circles around my eyes and then pressed at the edges to form a seal around my eyes and then dripped geeeee into my eyes. He asked me to open my eyes and it was the freakiest shit I have ever seen... it was all yellow and I could barely make out the shadow of his hand. Then it was time for eye exercises: to the right, to the left, up, down, all around. We repeated this three times. At the end of my treatment today my masseuse called me her sister in Hindi, which made me feel warm and fuzzy. I met with my doctor one last time to go over my regimen for when I return to the states and he gave me my dosha (KP) and my eating plan for when I return to the states (HA - he doesn't know that's in two years!!). My new meal plan consists of granola, fruit and sprouts for breakfast; vegetables, yogurt and salad for lunch; and bread, soup and vegetables for dinner (NOT!). He specifically told me to avoid cheese, oily food, meat, pizza, pasta, potato and rice. This doctor was smoking some serious crack. I took a picture with my sister and and my boyfriend and I said our sad goodbyes and I'm pretty sure in hindi he said "I love you madly, my beautiful white queen." Afterwards, around 2pm I wandered down the river to a town call Laxman Jhula which is about a mile walk... ran into the gang and shopped some with Kathy before we headed back to Aarti... which unfortunately wasn't happening because of a demonstration that afternoon on the ashram steps. Rumor has it that 40 workers were unhappy with their wages, staged this demonstration, got arrested, and then were replaced on the steps with the family members. We had Q&A with the Guru that evening and he was not happy to hear the Aarti was canceled. Yeah, Guru... what's up with that? Instead I went back to Jen's room and she gave me a thong demonstration, but was unable to convince me of the benefits. That night Amy taught me how to wash my sesame oil-soaked undies in a bucket and I went to the jewelry shop and uploaded a whole mess of photos to facebook. Oh, I forgot to mention that while Kathy & I were shopping that afternoon we were looking up in the trees at some monkeys and all of a sudden there was a misty spray of liquid all over me... I was like "Could it be?"... If I had any doubt at that moment, a few turds fell from the sky and landed in front of me. Yes, my friends... a monkey peed on me. In the United States, I probably would have shreeked a few times, done the dirty dance, and ran back home to a bath of bleach... but in India I'm guessing monkey urine has some sort of restorative properties.

Thursday (March 17th)... Today the group went to some town about three hours up the foothills of the Himalayas. I decided it was day of rest for me so that I could avoid car sickness and have some relaxation before I start my new job in a few days (EEK!)... I received an email from Christy last night and we are traveling to Mozambique a week after I arrive. Very nervous and very excited! The group headed out around 6:45 this morning and I decided that if I was going to skip this adventure I had to get my ass up out of bed for "yoga". The yogi was 102 and the most adorable little Indian I have ever encountered. The class goes from 6-8:30, which is totally insane, so I just did the little pre-yoga calisthenics from 6-7 which is more than enough. It involved a lot of stretching (from head to toe), jumping jacks, and running in place and then a well-deserved shavasena. Sadly, the yogi is in far better shape than I am. A little while later it was time for lunch... I decided to treat myself to lunch because, quite frankly, the food at the ashram tastes like arse. Across the street is a restaurant/hotel called the "Green Hotel" which caters to the non-Indian tourist. The menu included a wide variety of options from Indian to Chinese to Italian to American. The American breakfast is baked beans on top of white bread. Nothing says home like baked beans on toast! I opted for paneer pakoda which I believe is a slightly healthier version of mozzarella sticks. This afternoon, I took another walk through Rishikesh and across the footbridge. I sat on the steps alongside the Ganga directly across the Ashram. A family walked by, sat down, and continued to take our photo... I can only wonder if I will be included on their next holiday card. We then went to the Aarti one last time... Guru was there (yay!) but his throat still hurt and he did not sing (boo!). Tonight there was a visiting international sikh school and they performed two songs which really did not much for me. On the way to dinner, us gals got some private office time with Swamiji' right hand lady. She has an interesting story... she was in a Ph.D. program in the states when she accidentally stumbled upon the ashram, and just like the angel Shante, she started crying uncontrollably and knew she found her home... that was 15 years ago. Amy asked how we bring the peacefulness back with us, and her response was to always practice living in the moment. Since Theresa and I have been talking about this for years, i was more excited about the desk calendar she gave us all.

Friday (March 18th)... As I write this entry I've been in Africa for four days, so my memory is slightly fuzzy. On this day we left the ashram mid-morning and made the trek back to Old Delhi. We were to drop off a gentleman in Haridwar on the way, and it was a delightful hour or so. He was an expert on the Gita and we had a great conversation on essentially emotional intelligence. Not too much to report, or that I can remember on this day, and we arrived in Old Delhi early evening and had our last dinner on the roof of the Tara Palace Hotel.

Saturday (March 19th)... Last few hours in India! We left the Tara Palace Hotel around 10 AM and ventured to the Red Fort for some final sightseeing. It was starting to transition into summer and this morning was comparatively much more hazy, hot & humid. I sat down for a quick rest, and was quickly surrounded by the Indian paparazzi. Families gathered with their cameras in hand and one by one took pictures of me with their children. Jen showed up soon after and I was no competition with her red, curly tendrils. David & I walked back to the hotel around noon and for the next for hours or so I showered and packed, and at 4pm the cab arrived and it was time to say goodbye to my travel companions. I arrived at the airport and was forced to pay $15,000 rupies (approx. $325) in overweight fees, which I had negotiated from $20,000 rupies (approx. $425). Note to self: do not use Jet Airways again. I met some new friends from Mozambique and Uruguay and we were off to Mumbai at around 7:30 PM. When we arrived in Mumbai, it was TOTAL CHAOS and it took probably two hours to get to the international terminal and through immigration while dealing with a very pushy mob. I had a individual pizza from Pizza Hut, which was an unbelievable delight after a week of Indian food, rested a bit, and it was time to board my 2 AM flight from Mumbai to Johannesburg. It was time for my new adventure in the Southern Hemisphere.

Will I ever go again to India? Never say never, I suppose... but I can't imagine going out of my way to schedule another vacation to this part of the world. I loved the experience, feel very fortunate to have this opportunity, but I suppose curry just isn't my thang.

Some other misc. happenings that I would like to remember from my trip to India:

• Our feet were black the entire time. Nuff said.
• At the ashram we saw a blond in all white who Jen dubbed "the Angel". She was quite a mystery and one night she sat outside by me during the music festival so I started chatting her up. She's 24, her American name is Sara, she's from Berkeley and discovered the ashram on a backpacking trip and found happiness. She moved back here 6-7 months ago, and in December she had to leave for Nepal for 6 days until Swamiji could get her a 5 year work visa. In a year, she plans on being a monk. Her Hindi name is Shante if I am remembering correctly.
• I have made friends with the... what shall we call him... the building superintendent. He's a small man, probably half my weight, most likely in his 40s with a young family. He calls me "Sarah Boss" or just "boss". Today, he was performing surgery on his nails using a razor blade and asked for my nail clippers, which I willingly let him borrow. Only in India. Since then I give him my People magazines once I am done. We are bonded for life.
• The food... what can I say about the food? I was doing OK in Delhi and getting by on fried paneer and garlic nand, but the ashram food is not so my type. With each day I eat less and less because I can barely tolerate it anymore and on that note I think I'm going to treat myself to a Luna bar.
• Apparently the other evening a man was eating by a tiger about 15 KM from where we are staying. And rumor has it the elephants are nearby. Sadly, I saw neither but am also thankful that I was not eaten.